Monday, March 12, 2012

Love or Friendship?


You have to make a choice; which would you choose?

Love of Friendship?

It's awful, but now you have to make a choice because you feel something happening between the two of you or perhaps it's been happening for some time.

Except one of you already has somebody and that somebody is your friend or perhaps your best friend; which can make things even more complicated. Either way a feeling is happening between the two of you and it's about to cross the line where you will have to choose love or friendship?

What to do?

A friend had me ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing) because she said even if I owed her a lot of money and I stopped by to return it but she wasn't home, but her man was home - alone, she told me, "Keep the damn money and stay the hell out of my house if my man is home alone!" (Note she used a stronger explicative). But in any case, I was rolling on the floor laughing because it sounded so ridiculous, "What's the difference if you are home or not?" I asked.

The difference is, she replied with no humor in your tone, "That's how s___ t starts! Because you have no business in my house, with my man, if I'm not home! Period!"

Well, I couldn't believe she was serious and asked again. "Why would you even think anything would happen between me and your man? First of all, I know he adores you. Second of all, no offense, but you know he's not my type. And last, but not least we're friends! Do you think I'd mess up my friendship with you for him?" I protested.

"Listen, all that is well and good," she said, "and no, I don't think you would do anything like that because we are good friends. But damn it, s__t happens like that all the time and the best way to prevent it, is to avoid it."

It was LOL again for me because I couldn't believe what she was saying. But it was no laughing matter for my friend and it got me to thinking about how those situations do happen.  You know that awful situation when a friend is attracted, spending too much time with or already sleeping with your partner and when the s___t hits the fan, a choice must be made...love or friendship?

Again, I don't see putting myself in such a predicament because first of all I respect myself too much to even imagine it's within the realm of possibility I would/could do that to a friend. Secondly, I respect friendship too much to even imagine it's within the realm of possibility I would/could do that to a friend. And thirdly, I respect spiritual law too much to even imagine it's within the realm of possibility that I would/could do that to friend.
 
But...as my friend said, "S___t happens!" And there are too many real life reports, so many movies and a bunch of reality to shows to confirm her point of view. And of course there's the high divorce rate which clearly indicates people do become attracted to other people - even if they are with someone else at the time.

So although, having to make a choice between love and friendship because I want my friend's boyfriend isn't something I ever imagine doing, the question is one of reality.

Thus, the answer may be right there where I started; with my friend's suggestion, insistence, directive that one should avoid putting one's self in a situation where such a predicament might, possibly, maybe have a chance to ignite.

I also think the answer can be found in my perspective that for the sake of friendship if, somehow, you do realize that spark of attraction for your friend's partner, you need to immediately nick, douse or snuff it before it ever has a chance to ignite (i.e. don't encourage anything, do distance yourself and last, but not least - get your own partner).

But what if the spark does ignite and you find yourself at a crossroad to choose between the love for a friend's partner or the friendship you value; what then?

Pray.

This is where spiritual law comes in.  And no, I'm not talking about religion or whether you will go to heaven or hell or even whether you are a good or bad person. In the most basic sense spiritual law is natural law, ying/yang, that balance thing I always come back to.

You must know that when you "take" something that isn't yours to take, do something you have no business doing, or behave in a way that disrupts balance, you are breaking spiritual law. And as you know, breaking the law always has bad consequences.

So if you put yourself in the grievous predicament of having to choose between love and friendship, consider this 1, 2, 3 process to help extricate yourself.  And yes, I do realize that perhaps suggestion 1 might not help you avoid creating the dilemma,  and maybe steps 1 and 2 won't help you unravel the mess you've made, but if you put 1, 2 and 3 into action, there's a good chance you can redeem yourself AND won't have to make the awful choice between love or friendship.

To be continued...


Ade,
allways,
       peace

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