Its been a thousand years since I've written...anything. I do mean anything; since I've written a chapter (in the ongoing-10-year-seeming-never-to-finish novel), its been forever since I'd written an essay (my favorite form of writing), its been years since I've written a blog post (I think the last here was 2012), its been too long since I've written a letter (not an email) and last but not least...its been an eternity since I've written in my journal (I don't even own a journal to write in).
None of this is good; and yet, I haven't done much about it...even less to change it.
I absolutely, more than words can explain, beyond thought dislike this path. Its misery for me - a writer.
So today I promised myself - no matter what! I will write something (in this blog).
And as it turns out, there really is something I feel "worth" writing about: fear.
I don't know how one determines whether a "interesting incident" is coincidence or conscious-raising.
This comes to mind because this weekend, I had an "interesting incident" with fear; it falls in the "coincidence or conscious-raising" circle because the concept of fear or more accurately...the discussion of "fearless" came to me on the same day - with hours of each other.
One was an article I was reading on the train ride to a meeting; and the next time was when I arrived to the meeting and the speaker's subject was being "faithful or fear"; posing the question to the group, "What would you do if your faith was greater than your fear?" And "What would you do if you had no fear" (or had less fear).
In the article people talked about taking a world-wide trip, quitting one's job to do the thing you love; taking the first step to meet a mate and even writing; yes...writing. As I read this last "what would I do..." comment, I was "fascinated" (perhaps not the best word) that someone else - a "successful" person (according to the article) needed to be(come) "fearless" in order to write...to write.
How could such a comment not affect me? I, who had not written anything in a million years because...I presumed...I had little to nothing to say (write) that would impress anyone, that anyone would want to hear or that anyone else hadn't already said. "Why keep writing the same stuff - like everybody else...because these days everybody writes?" So why bother? Why bother?
Chocolate Chip Cookies..that's why.
There are at least a hundred brand-name, types, favors, mixtures,
variations, different ways to make Chocolate Chip Cookies that line the
supermarket aisles - and yet people with more faith and less fear...continue to make Chocolate Chip Cookies.
This is the answer I would give others when they wanted to quit doing what they love, when a friend was contemplating giving up a dream, or growing tired of being patient for a desired outcome or when someone told me they were not pursuing their "love, life and laughter" because they had "fear" about doing so.
And yet, as I sat listening to the speaker talk about "faith or fear" (being fearless) and replayed the words of the article about being "fearless" - I realized the way to do know whether an "interesting incident" is "coincidence or conscious-raising" is listen to one's heart; because Spirit will speak to us if we are willing to listen.
So I knew this double dose of being "fearless" was not a coincidence; instead what spoke to my heart was a reminder, a wake call and conscious-raising message that "most of all fear" is a lack of faith.
And sometimes, I was being reminded...all we need is just a little more faith to manifest less fear to come up with the next Chocolate Chip Cookie.
Or in my case...to starting writing (again).