Friday, March 2, 2012

Kiss of Death

So what do you think?

Of course by now you've heard the news about the Arizona lesbian couple who were thrown out/asked to leave the restaurant because their (intimate) kiss offended some customers in the restaurant.

First let me say something that's going to sound rather silly (perhaps dumb and little to do with actual issue).  However, I am always fascinated (in fact dumbfounded) by women who are so attractive yet lesbian (I know this is going to get me some real nasty remarks).

But Wait!

Before you start criticizing my comment (which I've already said was a bit off), let me explain.

Both lesbians in this case appear to be very attractive women and recognizing these days that often seems to be the case, I am forced to come to terms with this silly myth that (most) women become lesbians because they are so unattractive they can't find/get/keep a man. Where the myth originated, I can't trace. Perhaps because in the days before gay/lesbian rights the les feminine a women "appeared" - the more comfortable/confident she was not hiding the fact that she was a lesbian (I don't know and that's another discussion).

However, my point here is that the kiss in public "incident" that occurred between these two lesbians who both happen to be attractive has caused me to really examine this (mis)conception that only unattractive women could/would be lesbians. And this brings me closer to the point of my discussion..."Who gets to decide?"

"Who gets to decide who is attractive or unattractive?"

Are these the same people who get to decide whether someone who looks like these women (of color) live in certain neighborhoods - or not?

Are these the same people who get to decide who is allowed to marry whom - if both parties are consenting adults in agreement of the marriage?

Are these the same people who decide who is fit to run a city, state or the country?

Are these the same people who decide healthcare and social security benefits?

Are these the same people who decide that thousands of young men and women get shipped off to a war they have no involvement in starting?

Are these the same people who decide whether you go to hell or heaven?

Are these the same people who decide whether a lesbian couple can kiss in public at restaurant?

Is this not a supposed free society?...for all?

Then who does get to decide what is and/or isn't okay for everyone else?"

I guess the answer would be "the majority" - that's supposed to be the democratic approach anyway.

Except in most of the stories (and that's what they are because very few of us were there) about "the kiss" incident I can't ascertain if there was a majority bothered by the kiss or a few of those people who decide for everyone else.

You feel me?

Still this is a duplicitous issue for me because in all honesty, if there were a majority bothered by the overt public show of affection - I would have been among them. And yes, I believe even if it were a man and woman making an overt show of affection, I would have been bothered. 

Now whether I would ask a consenting adult couple to leave a restaurant because they kissed in public, I'm not so sure about that.

And yet, although I can't put my finger on it, there is some unspoken social code that makes kissing in a public place - out of place.

After all don't most of kiss in public at some point?

Indeed you've kissed on the lawn with your partner in a public park. Or maybe hello and goodbye at the airport? And certainly, nearly everyone has kissed in the dark - but public-private-place of a movie theatre? (I have).

Thus I'm left asking myself..."Why does this public show of affection between these two consenting adults seem more like the 'kiss of death' than a simple show of affection between two consenting adults?

Perhaps the answer is as simple as the kiss itself:  A kiss is intimate and intimate should be private.

That is unless you're among the tens or hundreds or thousands of people who come together (thanks to Reality TV) - in public expressly for the purpose of watching - in public - a bride and groom consummate their marriage in public...for the public...with a kiss.

To be continued...

Loving Thought
Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it. 
Bernard Meltzer