Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The One That Got Away

Have you that regret about... "The One That Got Away"... who right before your eyes?

You know that person you look back on months, maybe even years later and say "Darn! Why couldn't I see that was a good one!" As in that "nice" girl or guy you once dated.  Or perhaps it never even got to the dating stage because you really couldn't see what was in front of you.

So what do you do months, years later when you realize that he was "The One That Got Away" and you him back? You want him back because now you realize he was a sweet guy and that wasn't a bad thing.  You want him back because you keep hearing good things about him in your circle of friends.  You want him back because you've dated one knucklehead too many and now you see all the good things about "The One That Got Away" that you couldn't see before he was gone.

The thing is now you're embarrassed you didn't see how good you had it when he was diggin' you.  Or maybe you've gained a few extra pounds and aren't sure he'll still want you the way you are now.  Or maybe you've gotten married, had children and gotten divorce and think all that might be too much for him to handle.  Or maybe, you've heard "The One That Got Away" finally has someone who probably won't let him be "The One That Got Away" as you did.  How then do you get "The One That Got Away" back in your life? 

Do you call him?  Do you ask a friend to ask him to call you?  Do you send him an email (chances are you kept his email address because somewhere in the back of you mind you knew...you knew). Or do you show up at his door in your "birthday suit" wrapped in a big red bow?

It's probably no surprise; I believe things happen as things need to happen, exactly when it needs to happen according Divine Order.  With that said, it's like you have a clean slate and that's the way you want to approach reconnecting with "The One That Got Away" when you weren't looking.  In other words, be honest and open, candid not coy which means you probably don't want to go the route of reconnecting through a mutual friend.  And you certainly don't want to show up at his (her) door in your "birthday suit" with or without the red wrap.  Making that call might feel comfortable for you to reconnect and I think that can work so long as you don't leave a message that suggest anything too intense (i.e.  a walk down memory lane recalling your last connection between the sheets).  This you don't want to do 1) because you don't want to make sex the focus, 2) you don't know if the person is with someone and that someone has access to messages and you don't want to be party to bad vibes and 3) if you haven't talked to him/her in a while, you may have the wrong number (and that could cause problems too).

Still I say email is the best way to go when it comes to reconnecting with someone you haven't been in touch with for a while or the last time you were in touch was a bit uncomfortable.  An email, not Facebook can be a good way to reconnect with "The One that Got Away" because you can personal and personable... without being too personal (certainly people break into other people's email, but again you don't want to be party to bad vibes).  So now what to say to "The One that Got Away" that you want to come back.

Here I say - "Speak Your Mind" as the sensuous, sensitive, soul stirring R&B Isley Brothers said.  Because when it comes down to it....I believe if its really meant to be, then "The One That Got Away" is waiting and wanting to hear what you have to say anyway.

To be continued...


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