Monday, March 19, 2012

A Time to Wed

What's a good age to marry?

This question was put to me by a 20-something year old, but I can't say I've ever given it any thought.

Do people ever, actually give it any thought to their age when considering marriage?

Maybe at one time people did; I think it was supposed to happen before age 30 if you wanted to be considered on track.  And actually as I think of it, between  ages of 25 and 30 has always been designated as a "good" age for women to marry (younger is fine also).  Things changed some with Women's Liberation Movement, and women have been getting married much later, a its they focus on carriers having to claw their way up the corporate ladder.

Still there was a time when getting married really young was much more acceptable.   A good example is the the now famous record setting longest married couple Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher from North Carolina who got married in 1924 when they were still teenagers at 14 and 16 remain married almost 90 years.  With a record like that, one might argue the best age to marry is 16. Of The Fisher marriage is few and far between case which why its a record.

Perhaps getting married at 76 and 84 is the best age because you would have had the benefit of  either dating a very long time or living together a very long time so that you would know it was a good match.  But the case of Phyllis Siegel and Connie Kopelov the first gay couple to be married in New York the choice to wait was not their own, but wait they did 23 years before they could be legally marry at their age.

Or maybe the best age to marry really is somewhere around 30 as proven by President and Mrs. Obama who married at 31 and not only have a successful marriage, but made world history as a married couple.

"The more I think about it, I don't know that there is a 'best age' to marry" as I told the 20-something young man who asked the question.  And I would venture to say that these couples might say something like, "Age is an important issue when considering marriage, but not the most important issue.  Probably the best indicator of  'What's a good age to marry?' is the age when two people feel, know, believe in the deepest part of their being that this is the right person at the right time to wed.

To be continued...


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